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A parent checked their sons email and found some things they weren't too pleased with. They really want to confront their son. What advice would you give them?
I had a parent talk to me the other day and they told me that they checked their sons email and found some things that they weren't too happy with (i.e. emails between him and his girlfriend and other stuff). They really want to confront him about the content of those emails and asked me if they should or not. What advice would you give them?
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- Indigo
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- 7 months ago
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I agree with those who posted before, what are the current "rule" in place in the household regarding privacy? That would make a difference in how I would suggest they respond. If it is NOT an expectation that all e-mail etc. is private then I think the parents should sit down with him and express their concerns in a loving and non accusitory way. If it IS expected to be private then they have to be really careful about they need to appologize for their mistake first! Explaining what happened and asking for forgiveness. Then having a loving and non-accusitory discussion about their concerns.
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I see this from many points of view, I was a police officer for a long time so this came up quite often as a parent you want to protect your child from "the world" and making wrong mistakes which is what parenting is all about however sometimes the more you push your son the further you might push him away and cause problems between you, your son may feel not only embarrassed but also that his privacy and inner feelings are being trampled on. As I am also a christian I have my own views on what you may of seen in the email however your son has to come to that place where he is making his own mind up about what is right and wrong in relation to his feelings/thoughts in a christian mannor. prayer,support and been there for him may help:o) |
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Yeah, hopefully the expectation of his email (or facebook or anything) being private was never something the parents set from the beginning. If it was, then this is a harder issue to address, although I still would. Yeah, he may feel like his privacy was violated, but that's okay. He's a teenager and if his parents don't correct something now, they may wish they did later if things get too out of control. Better to address it when they're young. |
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privacy vs parenting: it depends if they established the boundaries of privacy. If not then they need to understand and weigh the outcome. Their teen may feel completely violated (plus it would be the first defense mechanism) and because of that will hide plenty of things. I would say the best thing is to be honest with the son and with the understanding of why they weren't too happy. |
