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Boundaries for overly clingy girls?
I am in an interesting setting where I have Junior High aged girls looking for male attention from myself and my male youth sponsors. It has gotten to the point where one of my female youth sponsors was freaked out because the girls are soo clingy looking for attention. I have strict boundaries for myself and the other guys also are fairly strict as well in their boundaries because of this weird occurrence. However I may be coming across as not sensitive maybe even uncaring but again they are looking for this attention so again we are in some crazy waters!
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- NEWGUY1994
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- 2 years ago
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Keeping tight boundaries is a necessity. I think you should explain to them why you have set those boundaries. In my experience, clingy girls looking for male attention really aren't tuned into who they are (identity in Christ) and how valuable they are in His eyes (worth). It's not your fault, most likely, and you probably didn't create this, but it is something you should deal with. Let them know that you want to protect them (and yourself) from anything that wouldn't bring glory to God. I would say tag team teaching this in a girls setting (and by tag team, I mean letting a female teach and you do a "from a guys prospective" one time thing),could have great benefits for your girls and your student ministry
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in 01 i blew the whistle on my sr pastor as he was having a relationship with a 17 year old. (he was 37) it really damaged the church. |
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I had a similar girl in my group a couple of years ago. I was blessed with an amazingly mature and responsible student leader who was a year older than her. This older student gave her a lot of non-physical attention and was literally a miracle worker to dissolve the awkward factor of her presence at youth group. Having a peer show concern for her gave her something she was needing and it created space for me and the volunteers. I know every ministry won't have a student like the one I had, but it may be a great opportunity for them to truly make a difference in a needy student's life. |
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I was volunteering in a ministry where a girl that was MEGA-clingy. She had some HUGE needs. One time she just jumped on my back while I was putting some stuff up in front of everyone one. It was really weird. She would go out of her way to be extra clingy when my wife was around. She terrified me, she would often blurt out overly personal information as well. I just made sure to NEVER be alone with her, and honestly I avoided her. I had a mom talk to her a few times, but it was still difficult. It was difficult, because she didn't connect with female leaders. If she doesn't get appropriately loved at church, where will she? |
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I cannot agree more with maintaining your boundaries. I have a young girl like this in my group and this is where I highly rely on my female leaders and where they need to understand their need to "step up" to the plate and lead. In my situation I have to actually redirect this girl to a female leader with questions and such because it is such a liability. Minister to her through your female leaders. Equip, inform, and provide for them that they can do so for the girls. |
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From my experience, the crush fades with time. Stick to the boundaries, keep all the guys accountable, and the girls will get over it eventually. Obviously theres more to it with the boundaries, but thats just my .02 |
