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Confront/Discipline Adult Leaders
have you ever had to confront/reprimand an adult volunteer leader in your ministry for a particular action/attitude that wasn't appropriate? If so, how did you go about it? How did they respond?
- 6 Answers
- In Leadership
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- EGro
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- 2 years ago
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She was hanging out in the bars on monday night and drinking with friends. As a member of the church she signed a covenant membership where she said she would abstain from alcohol and other things. She was confronted by myself and the other sponsors after an evening service where in love we shared with her that she her actions were not positive with the students and reminded her of her covenant membership. She did not take the news well, and has not been back in student ministry since, but has continued to attend the church and as far as I know is not hanging out in the bars and drinking with her friends. |
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It depends on what it is. There have been times when I have simply whispered immediately after the fact, "that was out of line" and that was the end of it. There have been other times when I needed to sit down with them and really hash things out. |
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Currently have an adult in leadership speaking (gossip) negatively not only of me...but of our Worship Pastor. I had to have a visit. Went well...but I sweated that meeting for a few days. Pray and then Pray some more...I had to get over my anger and personal hurt before I could address it with the right attitude. Now it seems like a small thing in the past and we have both grown from it. I handle things face to face. Cut to the chase...pull the band aid off at once...you get the idea. :) |
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Don't want to repeat anything so far, but everything they said was solid. I would add to, like misschris alluded to, that I try to go about it humbly, and with an attitude of restoration/help than discipline/confrontation. Sometimes, the situation calls for the latter. I find that most times, coming alongside someone, humbly helping them to see what happened, and trying to correct it for the future together works much better. |
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Oh yes, many times. The best scenario I've had is that they humbly accepted the correction. The worst case was when that leader responded in spreading gossip about me, then later left the church and took about 6 other people with her over the issue. Such a totally immature response, but that's what immature people do, I guess. |
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Yes, I have had to do this several times. It's my least favorite thing to do but I have to remind myself that I'm not doing anyone (myself, the teens, or the volunteer) any favors by ignoring inappropriate attitudes or actions. First I pray until I'm not angry & can correct in love. Then I meet with them & point out the action/attitude & discuss how we can work together to correct this. I also explain how their actions/attitudes affect the teens or the adult team. How they respond has a lot to do with how strong of a relationship I have with them. If they trust me & know that I love them they usually respond pretty well. |
