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Confronting Parents
I have a couple of students who's parents always pick their kids up after a meeting atleast 30 mins late. I think the problem is the kids just want to hang out for as long as possible. Last wed, 15 mins after the meeting ended I asked the kids to call their dad for a ride and the kid responded "eh, it doesnt really bother me when he gets here."
The parents never come inside to pick up the kids so I cant talk to them there. They do go to our church so I can confront them there. Confrontation really stresses me out (tho I am willing to do it) so if you guys have any advice im open to suggestions.
**EDIT**
To clear up any confusion. The teaching ends at 7:30, from 7:30-8 is our hangout/pickup time. These kids wait till 8:15-8:30 to call
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- steve-o
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- 2 years ago
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i'm liking John's answer. You show them respect so you should receive the same. Since they don't call till later, call them out when you dismiss. Right before you pray, bring them up. Call em out. Pray. Then when you're through, have them call their parents right then. Maybe they just need a reminder. It just seems from your question that it's more the kids not calling than the parents picking up. |
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I have an unwritten contract with the parents, but some times I say it to the students or the parents or both. It goes basically like this. I will end on time or at most five minutes over because I respect their time. I would appreciate the same in return. |
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Don't be too confrontational. Gather some info first. It could be that your youth is telling his parents to show up at the time they do so he can hang with friends. It could also be that home life is not so good and he doesn't want to go because of what is waiting. Don't assume that it is just because they are inconsiderate people that this is happening. Grace and mercy sprinkled with love! |
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Simply ask the parents to arrive at a certain time to pick up their students as your time at home with your family is important and precious time and you desire to protect that time. Ask the students to encourage mom and dad to be on time and take time to connect with them at other times, and make sure they know that they are special, but that they have had your time and attention and it is now time for you to go home and give it to your family. If you are not married, then the same applies, you need some alone time to rest and refresh. |
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Definitely talk to the students and parents. Let them know when the services end and that their students need to be picked up within 15 minutes of the service ending. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it unless you talk to them and nothing changes. |
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I would begin with a more informal confrontation first. If you have an already existing communication forum; i.e. bulletin or parent newsletter begin there. Tell the parents what time they pick them up and what timw they will be locked out of the building. If this doesn't get their attention, give the parents a call. |
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I'd be completely honest with both the kids and the parents. let the kids know that you need to go home and so do they after the meeting. i would also call the parents and just let them know over the phone that it's really important for them to come right after the meeting. let them know that you have a life too and need to wrap things up after meetings. people tend to think of workers for the church as people who live at the church and want nothing else to do than babysit their kiddos. we just need to gently remind them of our humanity. that usually works for me...stay strong and know that confrontation is sometimes exactly what people need. |
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