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How much can I counsel someone who doesn't live in my town, and never actually meet?
There's a girl I met at a camp i counseled at 3 years ago, and we chat somewhat regularly on Facebook, our only communication tool. I constantly hear about her new boyfriends, and the situations concerning her break ups, and things like dealing with unfriendly people at school, and the like. I also hear a lot about how her new boyfriend will stay at her house for days on end, never leaving except for school. I've expressed my concerns to her before, but it seems to me it put a strain on how much she really wants to hear from me anymore. She still talks to me, but she's not near as open. How should I handle this?
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I used to get a phone call from a kid in the community whom I never met, probably every other month or so. He called with a question about heaven (just looked up the number online as far as I can tell) and we talked. And he called back again 6 weeks later and we talked again. He didn't want to meet/visit/etc., just talk on the phone. Sometimes he was high (he once called to tell me he invented a time traveling biosphere where he cured cancer). |
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Do you know if she attends church anywhere? Or is there a youth group she's connected with at all? If so you could try getting in touch with the youth pastor there, or someone there, and encourage them to form a relationship. You can continue to be there as another positive influence, but in terms of real accountability it would be best if you could direct her toward someone who is able to be there in person. If she isn't involved in a church, maybe you could look up a few in her area and encourage her to check them out and get involved. |
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I am not sure there is much you CAN do other than pray for her and continue as much as you can to be a positive role model for her. It's hard when you can't see someone face to face, but sometimes just being a constant in a student's life is what they need. Maybe God hasn't given you the role that you want to have, maybe He just wants you to be there for her and love her no matter where she is at in life. Is she specifically telling you about all these things or do you just read them on her wall and in conversations? That would make a difference too. Again, I think the most powerful thing you can do is pray...alot. Pray that God would bring godly men and women into her life where she lives to be good mentors to her. I also wanted to add that I fall into situations similar to this with "former" students who no longer attend church. It is very had to watch them take paths that you and I know are distructive. But I have to remember that I am not in control of how they behave, think, and live. God is so much bigger than I think He is sometimes. I have to continually give those students over to God in prayer and trust that He can make a way when there seems to be no way. :) |
