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Is a wedding ceremony essential?
S
So, tricky one here (at least for me)
Hello, I have a recently graduated student from our ministry who informed us that she is living with her boyfriend and carrying on a sexual relationship. She says that they have prayed a lot about it and feel that they are "married in their hearts" and that they are not sinning despite the fact that they have not had any formal engagement or wedding.
So, my question has two parts
1. What did marriage look like in the early Christian church?
2. At what point are two people actually "married" in the eyes of God. Is it after a ceremony? A written agreement? an oral agreement? Does it need to be in front of witnesses? clergy?
Big topic I know, but any help on this one would be awesome!
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- staypuff54
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- 1 year ago
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I agree with everything that's been said below. I would add, though, that I think it is important for believers to marry "in the church." I don't mean necessarily in the building, but to have a religious, Christian ceremony with a member of the clergy. We must remember that biblically, marriage is a divine institution. So while having a judge or public official is legal in the United States, do you really want a public official instituting a divine rite? Tony Evans has a teaching that a marriage in the church should be divorced in the church because the courts have no authority over the church. While it's not really practical, I think he's right. We must be careful with putting what we feel over what God expects and instructs. |
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I agree with Brent. We are to live out the laws of the Bible and the laws of the land congruently unless the laws of the land are a direct contradiction to the law of God (such as it's illegal to evangelize in certain parts of China, but we should do it anyway). However, marriage is a special covenant between man and woman that depicts, until death, the covenant between Christ and the church. If I'm not mistaken, in the NT Jewish tradition the couple would get a "ketubah," which was a marriage contract or license. According to the NT, we are to obey the laws of the land(1 Peter 2:13-16; Romans 13:1-6) which does include marriage. |
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I agree with what has already been said as well. A question that comes to my mind is, why would two people not want to make their "marriage" legal? Usually it's sex without commitment. If it doesn't work out, then no divorce needed and still a clean slate. |
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Someone is married in the eyes of God when they are married in the eyes of the law. Jesus teaches us to live out our christian faith within the laws that govern us. That is what he meant when he says "pay to Caesar what is owed to him and pay to God what is owed to God." What the ceremony looks like is not important. In biblical times the marriage customs and ceremonies looked much different than now and differed greatly depending on region, just as they still do today. But even dating back to the times of Moses their has always been some sort of signed marriage contract to make it a legal marriage. |
