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Is it ok for women to text their pastor?
I'd like to know if it's ok for women to text their pastor, if the pastor has a wife the woman should text the wife, in my opinion, to avoid any problems. I think guarding against anything that can get interpreted wrong is always a good rule. But how do you let the women know it is not ok, if they text?
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- sunshine1
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- 1 year ago
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1 Vote
I make it a point to not carry on a text conversation with our female students. I will reply to questions or say "way to go" if they are giving me good news, but I do not extend the conversation. Texting can become a more personal, intimate form of communication than other avenues. To help people understand that I don't text with females, I either tell them directly or wrap up the conversation quickly. If someone has a major ministry need, I have not found talking through text to be very effective anyway. This is an area where it is better to be safe than sorry, but if you don't have guidelines in place before an issue arises, things get complicated. thank u!! Great answer, wrapping it up, is the way to go too! |
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1 Vote
Some great answers below. I think 2 big probs w texting are 1. some things are said in text that wouldn't be verbalized. 2. Texting is so convenient that it's often overused. If everyone has the pastor's cell phone number and texts him all the time, it's not an issue of propriety, it's an issue of time management. Pastor should be upfront that all texting should be professional/pastoral and will be answered as time allows. Anything inappropriate will be communicated with his wife. But it's up to HIM to establish those boundaries. Deflection is ok, too. "Can we talk about this at the next meeting?" etc. I get daily txts from 1 parent who never pays attn to published info. Had to refer her to website/newsletter. That's a good point. With email/Facebook, I decide when to check it. With a text if I have my phone on and with me I'm going to see it. It can get time consuming. Personally my plan only includes 200 texts/month. My students and friends know this and so they mostly just text me if something is urgent. Otherwise they send a different type of message. That works well for me. I know there are people who would text me more frequently if I had an unlimited plan, so that's one reason I don't! That's a Great answer, love it! so true, in this case pastor has to establish the profesional part of it. Pastor is always so busy, texting shouldn't be taken lightly to be texting whole conversations. I like the deflection part...thank u :-D |
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I'd have to agree with Steve. If a woman comes to a pastor's office should he kick her out or hang up if she calls? Emailing and texting are by far better than phone or personal conversations. There's at least a written record this way of what was said for accountability sake. no way,not kick her out,lol!instead of kicking her out,welcome her,along with the pastor's wife,there should always be a 3rd person,in this case pastor's wife,to avoid anything that can be wrong.Texting I think should be kept to the point and like Steve said,not to share too much,expressing to much.Thanks for your comment |
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1 Vote
Personally I don't see how texting is different from other forms of personal communication such as phone calls or emails. Pastors have a responsibility to shepherd the entire flock, men & women, which is going to require communication. Obviously every person and situation is different, so there may be instances where any communication gets inappropriate (e.g. the woman or pastor being sharing too much, expressing inappropriate feelings, or it develops into an emotional affair). In this case clearly communicate that the relationship must end. To prevent this from happening, as with any tool, there must be boundaries. I'm just not convinced that zero texting with the opposite sex is it. Seems like many pastoral opportunities could be missed. Great answer Steve!!I understand texting,emailing and a whole other ways of communication is really necessary now at days. I do however think that many times,it's so easy to fall into the expressing too much where it eventually becomes an emotional affair,even though thats not the pastor's intention.Pastor and wife have great open communication about it,but how can either pastor or pastor's wife,let the other person know,when it is getting a little too out of hand? One great boundary would be open communication between the pastor and his wife. Don't keep secrets. Let her see his phone when she wants and read texts. If he feels uncomfortable with any women, he should tell her. If she feels uncomfortable, she should tell him. Address potential problems before lines are crossed. |
