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I would just be open and deal with it head on. I guess I am a little confused about the intellectual info thing...if it is a issue of trust...take care of it with grace and mercy. If it is "info" over relationship...i would error on the side of relationship preserved.

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First, keep information backed up so you don't have to ask for it back - you should already have a copy.

As far as getting stuff back when you need to, ask. Ask politely and kindly, and show gratitude.

If they don't give it back, let it go. "Why not rather be wronged?" (1 Corinthians 6)

-Brad