I've been doing youth ministry for several years now and work primarily with middle school. Typically my small group ranges from 7-12 guys. Here are some suggestions.
1. Do something as a group once a month. This can be a bunch of things (sports, movies, service projects) the key is to build consistent opportunities to help them build friendships outside of the church setting.
2. The second thing is aim for at least one opportunity a week. Take two students to sonic after school or go to a football game of one of the students in your group. Slowly build trust...
3. The third thing is to meet with 2 students once a month who you believe are ready for a more serious discipleship relationship. Start to develop leaders at an early age.
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Just some simple advice that applies to most males while hanging out, is that you generally need to be doing something else for them to open up in anyway.
For me this is easy cause I live on the coast, so we go surfing, jump off rocks, play soccer, footy, cricket (like baseball for you Americans) down at the beach.
Find out what your crew like to do and do that with them.
While you are doing those things, just ask questions, get to know them. It doesn't need to be about spiritual stuff straight away. A teen knows you are genuine when you want to find out about who they are, not just do u know Jesus and are you praying and reading your bible.
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I'm definitely with Tim on this one. Get a vision, and work through the bible together!
But also:
Get a wii, go places, play games, make a website, form a band, do a treasure hunt, make pancakes, get some quick discussion starter books (suggest YS published "Have You Ever", "Gimme 5", "Would You Rather" etc) go bowling, make up a bunch of new indoor games, find out where the cool places to cycle/climb/run/walk are, start a mentoring scheme, have a lunchtime club, find a charity they are passionate about and support it with fundraising, go to the theatre, make a film, buy an old car and do it up, pull an all-nighter, go to the cinema, show old films at your house, invent your own non-alcoholic cocktails, make some cheese. Only suggestions!
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I would just ask them. Most teens are content with just "hanging out". I find the most teachable moments are during those times. Parks, mall, renting a movie, etc...
Unless you already have an established group, I'd have to disagree with Tim and say it's not super important to know who you are right now. You can't really know that until you spend time with the kids (and with God of course). I've found that spending time with them usually naturally takes a course in discovering "who you are" as a group.
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I think you're starting with the wrong question. Before you can answer "What can we do?" you need to have a solid grip on the answer to "Who are we?"
Always start with a clear vision for where the Lord is leading the youth ministry and what He wants it to look like. You ultimately need to build your ministry's identity, not it's function (i.e. programs and all the "doing" stuff). Otherwise you'll always be running from one event to the next, one series to the next series, one program to another without going in any particular direction with any of it. Does that make sense?
So, dream a vision, over-communicate it with teens, parents, your pastor and church staff, and go that direction this summer.
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Great question man
I try to keep in contact with them ALOT. If they have something going on, like a game or recital or whatever I will defly try and be there. I also text them and send facebook messages alot. The kids respond to this very well.
Its also good to set aside one day where they know you will be at like Dairy queen from 5-6:00pm. This really gives them a time to come and hang out with you and talk about what ever is going on!
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During the summer lunch is a great idea to connect with one student or several.
Summer days away at a State Park are good
During school we find holidays (presidents day) to do a trip to Indy for food, fun and shopping
After school hanging out in the youth room playing video games
When my wife is out of town, a Friday night having the guys over for pizza and games!
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i love the summer because the youth do have more free time and a couple of different things i do is...
1. invite a couple of them to run errands with you. my youth love going to sam's club with me.
2. i'll host random afternoon board game and video game events at the church through out the summer. or do an afternoon movie.
3. i will some times make a certain day of the week lunch with me at Pizza Hut (or some where), and who ever shows, shows.
These are just a couple of ideas of things I've done before that always seem to work well. whatever you do, have fun with it and make the most of the youth that you get to connect with in the various ways you choose to use.
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I guess I lack in this area as well. Though I do also work full-time, I go and visit a youth and their family at their house (at least one a week). I need just hang out time- which doesnt have to be super pre-planned schedule time, this also allows for them to bring their friends, and friends are more likely to 'just hang out' than come to church. I just got moved into a house (vs. an apartment), so that should open up more possibilities.
Oh, and you wouldnt believe how much the students like to play board games...hah!
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Great question! I look forward to seeing some of the ideas thrown out here. I could use help in this area also.
One thing I do is try to go to every event possible my students are involved in. I do my best to never go alone. I have found outside of the big three (basketball, football, and well I gues there are only two) most events are not all that well attended.
I love to see the smile on my students face when I bring a couple of kids from the youth group to their recitals, soccer games, under water basket weaving contests. :)
I have met many parents and teenagers through this. I need to do more of it!
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