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To tell or to tattle???
So, I have a student "dating" a guy and I KNOW her parents have told her no dating. She has talked to my wife and I about it and had admitted to doing wrong. However, she will not tell her parents.
I understand the "Give them a week or do it yourself" idea and agree. That is what will be done. However, in other cases (or this one) what do you all think?
When is it appropriate to tell a parent about something you know they would want to know but risk the trust you have with a student????
I have 2 kids that get "Close" and I know they are not supposed to. I hear stories from them and want to scream and tell her mother. AGH! "YOUR CHILD IS HAVING SEX!" But...that would not be the right way to go about it...or would it? :)
- 10 Answers
- In Youth Ministry
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- by
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- Brion
- 364 Views
- 3 years ago
Answers
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I must disagree with prward. I definitely recognize that we are the students pastor, but, I believe we should always keep the parents as our friends. Especially the ones who are in church and have teens in your teen group. |
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Another vote here for giving them the ultimatum: "You have 1 week to tell your parents or I will." Just make it clear that you're doing it because you love them enough to help them do the right thing even though they don't feel it or see it right now. |
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Help your students focus on discovering who they are and who God called them to be instead of focusing on who they want to be with. |
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teenage friends swear to secrecy, promising no to tell no matter what. |
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I agree with most everyone on this one. Joe made a good point. He said that he gives them a day to tel their parents. I think this is really important. If you give them an entire week, the parents may find out in the process and find out that you know as well. |
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I am going to agree with everyone else, you need to tell. If something happens and the parents found out you knew about it, you will be in worse trouble than if the student is mad at you. |
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I have had parents get mad at me for telling them what their student was doing. I guess the clincher for me is whether they are repentant or not. If not tell. |
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There is no reason not to tell. Sure the kid is going to ticked. But if you are not ticking off students then you are probably not ministering. (blanket statement made for emphasis not an indication of your ministry) Where I serve according to the mandatory reporting if two underage people are having sex and I know about it I am supposed to contact the authorities.(at least that is what Church Mutual insurance told us when our state became mandatory reporters) |
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As youth Pastors we must remeber that we are primarliy the Parents friend. If it was my son or daughter I would definilty want you to tell me what was going on. Now, I realize that not all parents are like this. |
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I have had this situation before (not sex, but cutting)I have offered to go over with them as they tell their parents what they have been doing as a support to the student.If they are not in favor of that, then I tell them they have until the end of the day to tell them, I will be telling them. I have not found a parent yet that was mad at me, (students did not like me, but I put their health and destructive lifestyle ahead of being popular.) |
